Tunnel vision

I walked the streets not a care in the world
I walked the streets suddenly colliding with my old self
Colliding with my old self uncapable of ignoring it
Colliding with everyone else’s happiness when mine had went missing for what seemed forever
Colliding with the fact that life isn’t the same anymore and change isn’t always for the best and you’re not the same anymore
I walked the streets not a care in the world
For months
I walked the streets and I couldn’t hear the birds twittering in the trees
I couldn’t see the sun set on the sea
I couldn’t feel the soft salty air in my hair
because I was going through a tunnel and the end was never approaching and the connection was bad so I couldn’t hear a thing
And the end was never approaching
Making my way through the dim yellowy light
I wanted the tunnel to end
So I walked the streets, not a care in the world
I walked the streets ignoring the cars running by
Ignoring every warning sign and every loving sign
I walked the streets not strong enough to kill myself
Hoping someone else would do it for me.

I have waited.
But they never did.

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